The Bewildered Housewife

WestwardBound has invited me, kicking and screaming, for a brief sojourn into the world of Meme. I had to google the term to figure out just what a meme is, and as far as I can tell it is a bunch of questions or confessions focusing exclusively on the behavior, thoughts or preferences of - you guessed it - me and me.

I have seen a few of these before, and find them to be alternately a) a little boring and b) strangely fascinating.   I believe that there is really only so much that a person truly wants to know about another, but the tidbits that arise about one’s day-to-day provide the reader an almost voyeuristic glee; either that, or an ashamed acknowledgement of like neuroses.  So, being part sociologist, here are 6 unspectacular quirks to keep you unamazed for the next two minutes, at least.

The rules are to link the person who sent it to you, mention these rules in your blog, then (the fun part) tell us about 6 random, unspectacular quirks that you possess.  Then tag 6 others to do the same.

 1). I love liverwurst (sorry about those visible chunks of fat, WestwardBound).  It’s definitely an acquired taste and not for the squeamish.   A brief glance over the ingredients list is all most people need to steer clear of it for a lifetime - and granted, this works on me too, sometimes.  If I find myself longing for liverwurst more than once every three months, the words “pig snouts” are enough to stave off my craving for another thirty to sixty days.  However, in times of emergency such as these, when my pregnant belly is beginning to swell to massive proportions and I need a hit of iron, protein and fat NOW, dammit, I eat it once per month.  An aside: since becoming pregnant, I’ve switched to Braunschweiger.  I have a whole other set of feet and noses growing inside of me; I don’t need to be ingesting them, too.

2) Before I sit down with my daily cup of coffee in the morning, I will have picked up the house, opened the blinds, done the dishes, made the bed, watered and fed the animals (including my husband), picked a lemon, swept the halls and started the laundry.  It may be neurotic, but I simply cannot start a day without things in order.  Riveting, isn’t it.

3) The secret to my pasta sauce is this: brown the meat and remove to a bowl.  Sautee all the vegetables in the same pan, add the crushed tomatoes and then puree the crap out of it.  Return meat and puree to the pot, add spices (including a dash of cinammon) and simmer for hours.  Oh dear, now I’ve gone sharing something spectacular…

4) Sometimes I stand with my back to the mirror, look over my shoulder, and try to tell if I look pregnant from behind.

5) I don’t enjoy clothes shopping very much.

6) I still want to be an astronaut.

 Who have I tagged?

meganbhulsey

The Mad Housewife

Baby Chaos

The Not

 Mildred Pierce

It was bound to happen.  All good things change.

When you visit this blog from now on, you should be automatically redirected to my new home:

www.BewilderedHousewife.com

Please update your feed subscriptions, just to keep it easy.

I still love you, WordPress.  It isn’t you; it’s me.

I had just lifted my fingers over the keyboard to complain about something in-lawish, when my husband called from across the house, “I love you babe,” for no apparent reason at all. 

See, this is why I keep him around.  And for the rest of the day I can no longer complain about anything in good conscience.

Instead, I’m giving you an assignment for the evening, which is to click on my mostest favoritest blogs in my Blogroll… to the right… scroll down just a wee bit… there you go.  I highly recommend Buttercuppunch and The Not if you like sassy forays into girlfriend things and (my favorite) wedding planning, Passive Aggressive Notes if you want your funnybone tickled, and Married Kitty if you’d like… um… something else tickled.

Go ahead, don’t be shy.

If you could be summarized by a search engine term, what would it be? 

Those of you familiar with the WordPress Dashboard know about the statistics it keeps on our blog views, page sources, comments and external links.  My absolute favorite feature of the Dashboard is the little column where it gives up the phrases people have searched that have brought them to my little bewildered blog.

 It’s almost like voyeurism, and I almost feel guilty.  But that feeling quickly fades as I find myself alternately delighted, puzzled and put-off completely by the things people look for on the internet.

Here, for your reading pleasure, is a small sampling:

Haley’s Comet.  This is one of my favorites to see.  You’re led to this post, and I wonder if you’re a student with a paper to write or an amateur astronomer.  Railroad stories also fit into this category, which delighted me.

Poop.  Four people in one day searched poop and found me.  Golly, it doesn’t get much better than that!

F*ck my mother in law.  Woah.  I can picture this person hunched over their keyboard, hateful beads of sweat dripping from their brow, finally having had enough of the evil wench.  And then it occurs to me - what if this person actually wants to f*ck their mother in law?  I’m not even going to touch that one.

Search of a house wife who is not satisfied.  Get cozy; I have thoughts.  A) Who prefaces their internet searches with “search of”?  B) It’s 8 o’clock in the morning, mister.  Isn’t it a bit early for that?  C) I do not appreciate the stereotype of the dissatisfied housewife.  Really, do you think we’re all just sitting here, splayed naked on the couch, just waiting for your marginally endowed self to ravage us before the husband gets home?  Here’s a newsflash, buddy: it’s incredibly satisfying to be able to pursue my interests and nurture my homelife while being completely provided for.  If you’re seeking a dissatisfied woman, try looking in your kitchen, where your girlfriend is dropping cigarette ashes into your eggs while you surf the net for porn.  Get off of my page.

Housewife with body rings.  This guy spent 1.3 seconds here before hitting the Back button.

I know there are other bloggers who check in over here… who I love and adore… and I would be tickled to hear some of the terms that have popped up on YOUR pages…

YEAH

GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.