A great many responses to my previous post were from very angry women. Most of them perceived that I was comparing the merits of being a housewife with the merits of being a mother/working mother/stay at home mother, etc.
What is most bewildering to Bewildered Housewife is that nowhere in my missive did I mention any comparisons. Nowhere did I breathe a word about the worth of working mothers. Where, exactly, did I imply anything at all about mothers, working or not, and where, exactly, were workloads compared? Please peruse the first seven paragraphs for reference.
Oh, you mean the pizza and cocktails comment has our panties in a bunch? Tsk. That was an observation of another couple we know, and what they do nearly every night. In fact, spending time with them recently and seeing that pattern while fielding questions all night about what I “do” spurred the writing of my post. I’m sorry if that hit a sore spot for you. These are the perils of writing, my friends. We are bound to see ourselves in someone’s material at some point, and it’s our decision to take it personally or not.
As a final word on the matter (because it is my blog, after all) at no place and at no point is it my job as a writer to:
A) Justify my material
B) Be belittled by a reader’s projections
C) Post abusive commentary
D) Change a single word
On a side note, I was raised by a working mother who has been, and continues to be, the most amazing example of Woman I have ever known. It is simply bizarre that so many perceive a Defense of Housewifery to be, by its nature, equal to an attack on working motherhood. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is the projections that have created a polarity, filling in blanks that are not even there. One woman’s choice for her own life has nothing at all to do with another woman’s choice for hers. And yet clearly, so many take it personally, as if Limited Good were in effect. It’s an incongruency that needs some attention – and one that won’t be resolved until dialogue takes place that can be raised above the adolescent level of name-calling and multiple exclamation points.
At any rate, I am done with this topic for now. In Defense of Housewifery was written as a response to an occurence in my life, not as a means to unwind the tangled web of an entire society’s views of femininity and worth. Onward.
3 responses so far ↓
babychaos // June 25, 2008 at 4:15 pm |
I’d agree, it’s up to you what you think and do. When people ask me what I do, I tend to say “as little as possible” then I go on to tell them I’m an artist and copywriter. Every now and again, though, I tell them I sponge off my husband. I’ve found that by taking this humorous approach nobody judges me in quite the same way… or underestimates my intelligence the way they can when I say I’m a housewife… there’s also the fact I’m such a bad housewife I feel I can hardly own up to it as a profession. It’s like somebody with a life time drink driving ban saying they’re a bus driver. No matter how hard they try, they’re unlikely to cut the mustard.
That’s enough random wittering for now. I am a Mum but only just figuratively and literally since my son is 13 days old! I might get round to blogging about his birth before he hits a year.
Cheers
BC
babychaos // June 25, 2008 at 4:16 pm |
Should add I AM a housewife but I do paint and write because that way, when I take Mr BC out on his birthday, I have bought the present with MY money! I don’t earn enough for it to cross the line from hobby to a real job… although I’m self employed so in theory, it kind of is…
Cheers
BC
Girly // June 30, 2008 at 2:52 pm |
I used to get embarrassed when my husband would take me to his office parties and introduce me to co-workers, who would ask what I do. I would feel inferior. Now I say it with pride..this is the choice my husband and I made together long ago.. I take great pride in being a housewife.. and I am damn good at all that comes with that title!
Love your blog btw!!